Broken, but not defeated.

I want romance

but i dont want chains

i want closeness

but i dont want to be only wanted for sex

I want gentleness

but i dont want bitterness

i want fights

but i dont want hatred

Love is pointless

and it only ends in pain

so...

I must be independant

and become stronger

i must not be so hurt by looks and words

and actions and ignorance.

every smile that you fake is so condesending

youve made me a better person but in the process made more scars than i had before.

i had the nerve to love and adore you

and all i recieve is being ignored and only wanted for my body.

you once loved my company and my mind

but it took me so long trying to read you, but now i think i've figured out exactly what book im reading.

the book ive held onto for so long is the one that made me stronger but weaker.

2 steps forward and 3 steps back

you made me to insane

in so many good ways than i used to be.

but ive tried so hard to know and love you

...but you have no idea who i am

...unless its underneath the covers.

i dont want to hurt anymore, but i think i'm addicted to you hurting me.

youve left me in the cold for too long.

i listen and you never do

but i'm asking just for once listen to me

and actually please try to see who i am

would it kill you to get to know me

get to know my dreams

my talents

and why (if at all) i shine to you.

one thing i have to thank you for is how youve shown me what living is for

and how independace is crucial.

cause you can't rely on anyone but yourself

and youve made that very clear.

so from now on, i am independant and no one can change that.

ive always only had myself

cause noone in this world is the same.

i'm going to love myself more than i did before.

xxxx